Thyroid Life: Foundations, Building Blocks....

I mentioned in a previous post that I would share my Vitamin and Supplement Regime with you all. That got me thinking.... don't look SO surprised!.... a blog post began to germinate in my mind into something so much more, so here goes....

I have found that my vitamin and supplement regime is one of many building blocks applied to the foundations of my overall well-being. The "foundations" being the optimum treatment of any underlying health conditions. In my case: hypothyroidism as a result of the auto-immune disease Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Every element is important but if your foundations are not "up to code" I believe you will struggle.... struggle being my given middle name today!

Perhaps this will illustrate things more clearly....


FOUNDATIONS: Optimum Treatment of Underlying Health Conditions.

This for me is an on-going process, more than likely a lifetime commitment. There will no doubt be many more ups and downs along the way.... you think?!?! Now as any builder knows: your foundations are VERY important (like having good cheekbones). Therefore as my foundations prosper the building blocks I place upon them will have the opportunity to flourish and enable me to fulfil my potential (and my heart's desires). However, it is an ever-changing scenario.... no shit?! But would I really want it any other way?!

But there is something nagging away at the back of my mind that needs to be brought front and centre: Adrenal Exhaustion, or is it Adrenal Fatigue? What's in a name anyway?

To continue my building analogy (oh go on admit it, you're loving it!), Adrenal Exhaustion, yes I'm going with Exhaustion, is like the planning permission required before you can even lay foundations.... I think, I know, right?! Don't you just love all the "red-tape"?! It's like a ticker-tape parade in here!

I will give an entire blog post over to my musings on Adrenal Exhaustion and how it affects me.... rock 'n' roll.... you know the drill.... what tests confirm diagnosis, treatment options etc....

So it's looking like I don't have planning permission.... rebel with a cause!


BUILDING BLOCKS 1: Diet and Hydration.

I have learnt that the way I fuel my body impacts significantly on the reality of my overall wellness and my perceived wellness. A crucial part of the jigsaw! I genuinely feel better when eating a healthy diet. Physically and mentally. I eat very little processed food and lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. I love fish (but it's very expensive), in particular shellfish, and meat (ladies, I LOVE roast chicken). This boy could NEVER be a vegetarian! If you haven't worked it out already the way to my heart is through food cooked with love. Then watch me grow (as in as a man, NOT as in putting on weight.... phew!).

I start every day with 3 400ml glasses of bottled water followed by breakfast cereal with semi-skimmed organic milk with a little sugar on top.

During the day I eat at least 2 portions of fruit and sometimes some nuts, and whisper it, sometimes some crisps (potato chips). During the day I typically have 6 mugs of decaffeinated tea, NO sugar.

I have my main meal of the day in the early evening. This normally contains at least 3 portions of vegetables. Followed by 2 more mugs of decaffeinated tea, and if I've been good in the evening I will have a small portion of chocolate.

In late evening, before bed, I will have 2 more 400ml glasses of water.

You will have noticed that I drink as a bare minimum 2 litres of bottled water per day. Why bottled? I live in a hard-water area (limescale), also I had a kidney stone in 1999.... ouch! During my stay in hospital I was advised to drink bottled water. So in my black and white mind it was settled: bottled water from then on (mainly due to the hard-water it must be said).

I try my best to eat my 5-a-day portions of fruit and vegetables. I do this comfortably over the course of a week, especially taking into account my issues with portion control! *winks*

But please remember: one can always find room for a little naughtiness.

Diet and hydration is not as easy to control as one would imagine. Especially when other factors such as food intolerances are taken into consideration, I am intolerant to all wheat so my diet has to be gluten/wheat free. I have read that it may be possible to reintroduce wheat into my diet when my health improves and after a suitable period of abstinence (is any period of abstinence EVER suitable?).

I have amazed myself with how disciplined I have been regarding the wheat-free diet. The benefits of avoiding wheat are far greater in my mind (and body) than the suffering endured when I eat wheat. An example of my Borderline Personality Disorder coming to my rescue for once.

The obligatory money issues are always lurking somewhere in the shadows. Gluten/wheat free = more expensive. Not rocket science but a fact of life. Good nutritious healthy tasty food is more expensive, takes skill, planning, and a little more time to prepare than the cheap processed unhealthy crap so much of society seems to exist on. And I'm the one with health issues?! Therein lies the rub!

In the interest of factual balance I am still 6 feet 3 inches tall and weigh 129kgs at my last weigh in at hospital ( a mere 284 pounds or 20 stone 4lbs in old money). So let's not get ahead of ourselves here: I am a fat fuck! And I have very few days when this does not disgust me!

And after all this you know what I worry about? What a palaver it will be if I ever eat out.... God forbid it ever be on a DATE! Enough, I am sweating already!

BUILDING BLOCKS 2: Vitamins and Supplements.

As mentioned previously it was when writing the blog post on my Vitamin and Supplement Regime that I had the idea for this post. I KNOW!

BUILDING BLOCKS 3: Lifestyle Choices.

*mounts soap-box* Now then: "lifestyle choices". This is a whole new ball game. Different but still equally important when striving for the best possible outcome for one's health. I took my self-flagellation to levels I had previously thought myself incapable of in anticipation of the pontificating sermon I am about to unleash....

Not really, OK, a little bit. The key word in all of this is "choices". We all know that poor ill-informed choices do not result in positive outcomes. To think otherwise, well there's a word for that: denial. I have swam many times in those particular intoxicating futile waters.

Smoking. I am now 3+ years smoke-free. It feels good. But I did start smoking in the first place, with no gun against my head, d'oh!

Choices.

I have to be honest with myself: how could I complain of air-hunger, breathing difficulties, the general deterioration of health, if I still smoked?! Come on! You will find very little sympathy knocking at that door.

How hard is it to give up? Not very if you want to, and I mean really want to. Again my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) perhaps helped me here, but I truly believe that if you really want to give up you will.

I read somewhere in some quit smoking literature that after 2 days the body has processed all the shit from your last cigarette. There is no longer a physical dependency. After 2 days all you are left with is the disgusting habit, it is all played out in the head. If you can handle all the bullshit that comes with hypothyroidism you sure as hell can quit smoking.

Choices.

Alcohol. I have not touched alcohol for nearly 10 years. This is my choice. I have never had a "problem" with alcohol and for that I am really thankful. I have just found that since being on medication to treat my hypothyroidism alcohol does not agree with me. The feeling of alcohol in my bloodstream is unnerving (or was that the effect of over-medicating with levothyroxine 2003-2005?) and the days after just a couple of pints were hellish.

For me personally it would be nice to be able to drink alcohol occasionally, and in moderation, in the future. I miss a pint of Guinness: so thick, creamy, and dreamy. I miss an ice cold lager on a hot summer's afternoon/evening at my local pub by the river. A glass of wine over dinner with friends (what friends?!). Hell, I miss having a life!

Choices.

Again there is no denying the negative impact that alcohol can have on one's health. I find people who consume higher than recommended levels of alcohol daily and/or weekly are prone to denial and being hypocritical, especially if they do not smoke. But hey, I'm generalising.

Choices.

There is no denying one thing: hypothyroidism has made me extremely sensitive to everything I consume.

Caffeine-free. I have chosen to minimise the amount of caffeine I consume by going caffeine-free. I understand that the "free" part is not entirely accurate. Caffeine-free teabags do contain some caffeine as does chocolate *pulls face of mock shock horror*

Choices.

I first decided upon my version of caffeine-free to see if it would help alleviate my chronic sleep problems. I think it has helped, I am not "cured", but just how much I am not entirely sure. I read that caffeine places stress on the adrenals. With that in mind I do not even have caffeine-free tea after 7pm.

Are you starting to appreciate how all the little building blocks, on solid foundations, are beginning to take shape? I hadn't fully appreciated it until I deconstructed my lifestyle in search of greater understanding and a few answers, but still quite some way from enlightenment. But boy am I stylin'!

If I was a women my fellow man would no doubt call me "high maintenance"! Translation: I'm more trouble than I'm worth....

Choices *performs aesthetically pleasing dismount from beloved soap-box*

BUILDING BLOCKS 4: Exercise, Flexibility and Breathing.

This particular building block is very much a work in progress, is excruciatingly slow, and has been neglected for far too long.

It worries me.

Exercise. The big problem here is the scar tissue that remains as a result of being over-medicated for nearly 3 years upon diagnosis, when I knew less than nothing about hypothyroidism, and the journey I had unwittingly embarked upon.

Namely over time becoming a recluse as a result of panic attacks. This is difficult. For years I could not leave the house for fear of shitting myself (physically happened more times than I care to or dare remember). Leaving the house was a game of Russian Roulette, only it wasn't a single bullet in a revolver, it was turds in bowels and whether or not they would explode in my pants!

I have been so wrapped up, to varying degrees, in this whole "I'm not well" head-space that physical activity has been the last thing on my mind. Believe it or not it is a sign of significant progress that I am even doing a little exercise right here, right now, in 2012.

I am running errands and generally being more active, I have taken a few very short walks (about 1 mile) and I am building up the courage to walk to the river and back (2+ miles). You'll love this: I have to be extremely careful not to run before I can walk when it comes to exercise. I have a small success and involuntarily my head is full of ideas about what it must feel like to be properly physically fit. I need to learn to savour the little things, each individual triumph.... and not to keep beating myself up for perceived failures on my part! Yeah right, like THAT's gonna happen!

I have cleaned mine and my mother's car, by hand, inside and out, a few times. And yes, I get a sweat on doing this! If I'm going to do a job I have to do it properly.... all or nothing.... black or white.... you get me?

These minor triumphs may appear innocuous but taken collectively they improve my physical and mental well-being. But I still have more than my fair share of shit days where I have no option but to surrender and accept that there is always tomorrow. This is, and always will be, frustrating!

Flexibility and Breathing. For 6+ months now I have been following my own stretching and breathing regime every morning, at intervals during the day, and in the evening before retiring to bed. Now, don't for a minute picture in your head some yoga-like routine!

This is something very gentle that I have devised for myself and where I can see and feel lasting improvements since I started. I can now touch my toes with my hands pressed flat to the floor.... go on I dare you.... picture that in your head.... spectacular!

There are a couple of other stretches I do that have had the added benefit of really toning up my "bingo-wings". Whilst holding the stretch I can really feel the burn through my triceps (back of the upper arm), deltoids (top side of arm/shoulder) and laterals (side of torso from armpit to bottom of ribcage). I was a gym rat in a previous life (actually 6 years from the age of 18-23) with very little progress considering the effort and dedication put in, I hit a wall where I could not improve aerobic fitness, strength, muscle mass or weight loss. With hindsight all the signs were there, crystal clear: I had undiagnosed thyroid disease.

Whilst performing my stretching routine I concentrate on deep breathing, through the stomach, not light chest breathing. You get a much fuller, deeper breath, and I can feel the benefit of 3+ years smoke free.... no coughing and spluttering.... you see.... I managed to mention it one more time.

My aim for this year is to enjoy the countryside on my doorstep. By this I mean progressing so that I can walk to and along the river (it is part of the Ouse Valley Way). I have binoculars and I'm saving to buy a camera, I hope to share my photographs with you.... so that you can see I'm for real! Eventually I'd like to mix my routine up by cycling along the Way on my mountain bike.... baby steps!

This building block is important to me! I can really gauge my progress. I am approaching 41 years of age and I would like my middle years to be my best years yet! I want to feel physically fit and healthy. Something in our youth we take for granted but which I would now cherish dearly. Head up, chest out, spring in my step, smile on my face....

BUILDING BLOCKS 5: Administration.

Administration. Not the most glamorous of building blocks, but do not let that fool you, this is a very important piece of the jigsaw, and when properly attended to, has a hugely positive impact on stress levels. The flip side to this, as I know all to well, is that thing can get away from you. I am beginning to take control of my affairs but have much to do. Don't even go there.

A long time ago, pre nervous breakdown, when I had a career as a respected auditor the day to day admin of life was taken easily, almost nonchalantly, in my stride. It was what I was good at. How the mighty have fallen. It is now a shit-storm, that self-perpetuates, morphing into an almighty stench pervading every waking moment of my life. That's what it feels like much of the time, but not today thankfully. I am facing it little by little but it is a long slog.

I am talking about my perilous financial state. The big things. But once sorted, a load off!

All the while on the periphery of this storm, or is it in the eye? I have even made and kept appointments with my optician and dentist. Optician: OK, but have astigmatism, new bins as a result. Dentist: OK, still no fillings in my mouth, EVER, and a clean and polish.

I have also had blood tests, kept appointments with my endocrinologist at the local hospital and with my doctor at the surgery. Also being on liquid suspension thyroxine (The Liquid Suspension Experiment) necessitates frequent visits to my doctor's surgery to collect my prescription certificate, and from there to the local market town to place prescription with the chemists and then back to the chemists again to collect medication once prescription has been fill. It is all go and I would not have been able to cope just a few months ago.

Never look down on Administration departments, if they fuck up the wheels really do come off! (Not to be confused with Customer Service departments which are no longer fit for purpose in the 21st century!)


CONCLUSION:

You only need look at the above to comprehend what a daunting prospect it is.... my #thyroidlife. And that is before employment can even be considered a possibility, which in turn would allow new exciting friendships to be forged and a life to be lived .

There have been many days, weeks, months.... and even "lost" years.... where it all too often becomes too much to bear and I assume my most comfortable (default) position: "head-in-the-sand". I have to accept that the future will hold many more of these days.... please not weeks, months or years *shudders at the thought*.

It is my intention (hopes and dreams) that this blog will continue to document my struggle with hypothyroidism so that these "episodes" can be kept to a minimum.... all the time sharing my successes and failures with you without fear of judgement and always with heartfelt honesty. It is also my hope that my experiences will provide moral support to other thyroid brothers, sisters, and carers lives.

I need an algorithm to make sense of it all.... or even a flow chart.... sexy!

If you made it this far, thank you.

Please remember that for as long as we have hope we have a chance.