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Do Me A Favour

Do Me A Favour by the Arctic Monkeys
iTunes

"Well the morning was complete

There was tears on the steering wheel, dripping on the seat

Several hours or several weeks?

I'd have the cheek to say they're equally as bleak."

...

I had a routine appointment at the thyroid clinic of my local hospital.
I thought I had lucked out.
I got the organ grinder not the monkey.
Everything was looking good.

You know what thought did?
Looks can be deceiving.
It was a fucking car crash!

Oh we danced.
Endo the waltz; proper, predictable.
Me the tango; passionate, sweaty, styling!
Brain versus heart.
Class war.

Endo insists on treating the numbers.
Any fool can paint by numbers.
It takes an artist to create a masterpiece.
I am begging to be the canvas.

Deja vu.

It ended with me heartbroken.
Again.
How much more of this can I take?
For you? For me? For us?

I am devastated.
I will not give up.
Why?
I don't know how to.

...

"Do me a favour, break my nose
Do me a favour, and tell me to go away
Do me a favour, and stop asking questions."

...


Remember, for as long as we have hope we have a chance.

Fade To Grey

"One man on a lonely platform

One case sitting by his side

Two eyes staring cold and silent

Shows fear as he turns to hide...

...Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey

Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey."

How am I feeling?

Am I sick?

Am I well?

Glad you asked.

I am in no man's land.

I will try to explain.

For someone who sees everything in black and white.

I find myself drowning in grey.

Oh the irony!

As my health improves I have become aware of my own fragility.

I over-think things.

I obsess.

This is unsettling.

A part of the journey.

During the dark lost years I was not aware of how ill I was.

Just as well.

 The memories are terrifying!
Yet strangely comforting.

If this temporary mental fragility is the price I pay for wellness then it is a piece of piss!

Relatively speaking.

You know where I have been.

Here, today, my senses are heightened.

Am I alive?

Yes.

But not quite living a life?

Yes.

My greatest achievement in all of this?

I now know the road I need to travel.

Yet there is no map.
Aren't I clever?!

I could not have done this on my own.

I have a virtual social media army by my side.

 Every step of the way.

They are courageous.

They are beautiful.

They are a part of my life.

Always.

Walk with me in 2013.

I will gladly hold your hand.

Honour.

Privilege.

See what trouble awareness brings?!

"...Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey

Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey."

Remember, for as long as we have hope we have a chance.