Hypoman's Diary/Dragonfly

"Just dragonflies
Flying to our side
No one gets hurt
You've done nothing wrong"

Codex, by Radiohead

Hello again, only me!

This diary thing I am trying to do will be better done in arrears so to speak. One day in arrears is the endeavour.

Yesterday was a good day. All things being equal. Where I am on my journey...

It started just after 06:00 and upon making it down stairs I had the customary two glasses of water and allowed my 10mcg of T3 to melt under my tongue.

At 07:30 I had my first dose of vitamin C and B complex vitamin before making my breakfast porridge.

I like routine.

Just as well really as routine is essential for me to have any chance of being the best of me.

I am a creature of habit.

Good and bad.

I remembered that I had forgotten to take my probiotic again, only this time I had forgotten to buy some more. 

I ran a few errands which included a visit to an orchard farm shop less than a mile from my home where I bought plums and cooking apples.

Four loads of washing were done, pegged out, got in and folded over the course of the day.

Despite being a good day I didn't make any progress thyroid theory wise, or in posting up results.

A bad habit.

The good is that I get there eventually.

I had a wonderful salad for lunch and the tomatoes, given to me by my godfather from his allotment (didn't The Godfather die amongst his tomatoes?), were perfectly ripe.

This being a good day a wave of fatigue still knocked me off my feet in the middle of the afternoon. It's not the type of fatigue where you take a nap and everything is OK. No, this is awful, this is fatigue in every inch of my body including the brain. 

You. Just. Shut. Down.

I came out of it rather like a boxer stupidly getting up off of the canvas to take yet more punishment.

Does this qualify as sadism?

Anyway, mother nature lifted my spirits when I saw this in the garden, on the clothes prop whilst getting the washing in.

Said dragonfly from this blog post's title.

This was taken with my iPhone without a zoom so it was close enough to whisper in my ear.

I had forgotten to get a portion of curry out of the freezer so for dinner I ate crisps (potato chips) and grazed on fruit and nuts throughout the evening. I could feel the lack of nourishment draining me.

Luckily I am not this stupid often.

I remembered to take my B12 lozenge and vitamin C at lunchtime.

I remembered to take my B complex and vitamin C in the evening.

I have reintroduced vitamin D3 (3,000iu), which I also take in the evening in the hope that it mimics a day in the sun.

I have noticed since stopping all supplements ahead of blood work that my skin has suffered. I am getting quite a few ingrowing hairs in my stubble. I normally get one or two once in a while. The skin on my face also has a waxy quality to it at the moment. I am thinking this is because of not taking my essential omega 3-6-9 oils.

From dipping in and out of thyroid pages on facebook I was reminded that I am not alone, even if those closest to you do not really get it.

I have a few real world friends who do get it.

And I have friends online that I have only made because of thyroid disease.

Good people.

In the evening I watched Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing With The Stars) on the telly... a guilty pleasure.

Another day flat out busy doing nothing in particular.

But that is everything I had to give today.

And with the time being 22:00 off to bed I went prepared to fight the good fight once more tomorrow.

Remember, for as long as we have hope we have a chance.

Hypoman's Diary/Is There Anybody Out There?

I have missed blogging.

I have missed you.

I have missed Hypoman.

What is a boy to do?

To ease back in to blogging I am going to try to keep a diary. Plain. And simple.

Today I got up, as per "normal", at 06:00. As soon as I get downstairs I have a glass of water and take 10mcg of T3 (liothyronine) sublingually.

I then pour another glass of water and sit in front of the telly with the laptop on and iPhone to hand and wait to feel even remotely human again (still waiting).

At 07:30 I take a vitamin C tablet and a B complex tablet.

I then prepare breakfast. Gluten free porridge oats with raspberry jam, English blossom honey and cinnamon. Sometimes with a milk and water mix, sometimes just water, that's how I roll. Then when porridge starts to boil I add a pinch of salt and time 5 minutes from this point, constantly stirring until done.

I then drink another glass of water whilst making my first decaf mug of tea of the day. Yorkshire Tea Decaf is best.

I drink three more mugs of tea.

At some point I remember that I forgot to have my probiotic drink (irony).

At midday I have a vitamin C tablet and a B12 lozenge.

I then prepare lunch. Today Spanish omelette.

The perfect Spanish omelette.

After washing up and clearing away I drink another mug of tea. In front of the telly and laptop with my iPhone by my side. Waiting for other peoples lives to happen.

All the time, at the back of my mind, I am thinking THYROID. Adrenal insufficiency. The need to order another 24 hour saliva test as I had the last one done in August 2012.

Full iron panel results. I had blood taken the week before last and collected the results last week. Still haven't got round to posting them on a internet forum I trust for interpretation.

Vitamin B12. I had blood taken for many tests the week before last. My B12 is comfortably mid-range for a "normal" person. I am not "normal". I have thyroid disease. Therefore my B12 needs to be near the top of the range. Have started supplementation just yesterday. Will speak to my doctor about it... soon.

I have called my doctors surgery to see if my vitamin D test result is in. It is. Normal, no action required. They have printed it off and I will collect it when I pick up my repeat prescription for T3 which I ordered in the same phone call. Good aren't I?

I need to go through all the results from this latest raft of blood tests and try to get my brain fog addled mind around them and plan a way ahead.

This is only my second day on 10mcg T3 and the vitamin C/B complex/B12 supplementation. I made the decision to start again from scratch and take it slowly. Really slowly. I have the patience. I have done it before. But this time, REALLY SLOWLY.

A fact that I can support with blood test results, symptoms and research. My body does not convert T4 into T3 very well. In fact my body converts T4 into the inactive T3 hormone RT3 (Reverse T3). This pools in my bloodstream and leaves me feeling really shitty. Awful. Earlier this year I went through the painstaking, and not as straightforward as I would have liked, process of RT3 clearance. To do this I was on T3 only medication. I'll cover this in much more detail at a later date, I hope.

The clearance process left me feeling better but not close to being well. I was even able to go out for walks, more about this again later, I hope.

When T3 only wasn't the answer I made the big decision to source NDT (natural desiccated thyroid) from an online pharmacy. The process of ordering and receiving this medication went smoothly. Almost too smoothly. I am not complaining. I NEVER complain.

But I fucked up.

But I learnt a lesson.

After getting to 4 grains of NDT a day I was feeling really poorly. After 20+ weeks of clearing RT3 I had only gone and inadvertently provided my body with T4 with which to immediately, greedily convert to RT3. So after a month or so I decided to stop the NDT and switch over gradually to a T3 only regime once again.

I was demoralised.

I am still demoralised.

I was frustrated.

I am still frustrated.

I will always be frustrated.

That's another story.

I gradually built back up to 70mcg T3 per day. But I wasn't happy. I needed to take action. I needed to start all over again. My body was telling me this. Shouting.

So I slowly weened myself off the T3 until I was on no medication at all. This coincided with me being on no supplements as I had stopped taking them ahead of the blood tests outlined above.

I lasted a week with nothing.

Yesterday I got back on my bike/back in the saddle.

Got my game face back on.

If I can just get one thing straight in my head each day I will be happy with my progress. I will try. I will.

I saw a blog post from a thyroid hero of mine, Paul Robinson, author of the excellent book Recovering With T3. The blog post was about explaining why so many thyroid patients feel the therapeutic benefit in the immediate aftermath of a medication dosage change only for this to only be a cruel fleeting glimpse of what could be.

This part of my puzzle suddenly made sense.

It was my life for 7+ years.

It rang a bell.

LOUDLY.

My ears are still ringing.

Effect of TSH on Conversion of T4 to T3

It has occurred to me that this blog post could be a result of just such a phenomenom.

Later today I will be having a simple salad for tea. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, celery with cheese and a little dressing. Here's one I made earlier...

This evening over a few more mugs of tea I will watch some telly/listen to some music all the while having a dialogue of sorts with the voice in my head. My inner voice.

At 19:00 I will have a vitamin C tablet and a B complex tablet.

Then I will prepare myself mentally to do it all again tomorrow.

You still with me?

You still interested in walking my journey through life with me?

I missed blogging.

I missed you.

I am Hypoman.

Remember, for as long as we have hope we have a chance.