Thursday 3 October 2013

Hypoman's Diary/Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

"Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning"


I am still here, not quite managing to blog every day, yet persevering.

Today was day 8 of starting over. 

Starting over on T3 only.

Taking it slowly.

SLOWLY.

I am satisfied with how things are going. But I have noticed that the daily wave of fatigue is arriving earlier and earlier in the day. When last I blogged it was gatecrashing the party in the early afternoon (14:00 - 16:00). Today it arrived, uninvited, at 10:00!

The day is then yet another write off. My life has been littered with these. As previously mentioned it is NOT the sort of tiredness that a dainty little nap can resolve. Oh no, this sucks the life out of your body and soul. I doze on and off, then kind of come round with what feels like a hangover. It takes hours to get back to anything resembling being alive but then it's time for bed.

Yes.

Yes I do DO irony.

I am nothing if not experienced when it come to just how shitty "life" with thyroid disease can be. The reason my fatigue is invading earlier in the day is due to my body adjusting to the 10mcg of T3 I take at 06:00. I need to adjust this dose to 15mcg which I will do in a few more days time.

SLOWLY.

We need such self-discipline, strength, resolve, courage.

Dark humour.

We are good people.

With these qualities imagine the careers we would have had.

We would have made a difference.

"I coulda been a contender
I coulda been somebody
Instead of a bum
Which is what I am
Let's face it"

Brando as Terry in On The Waterfront

I haven't made much (if any) progress with researching my thyroid theory.

Or with sharing my recent blood work results online.

It'll happen.

I need to get my first dose of T3 right. I will know when it is right because my symptoms will be resolved momentarily.

Or so the theory goes.

Seriously, the theory makes sense.

More importantly, I believe it.

I am listening to my body.

What will blow this theory out of the water, for now, is if my adrenal insufficiency and/or my vitamin/mineral levels are not optimum for the transference of thyroid hormone into the cells of my body. This could necessitate the need for sitting on a holding dose of T3 whilst other issues are "fixed" first.

I understand this part of the theory.

That reminds me.

I MUST REPEAT THE 24 HOUR SALIVA TEST FOR MY ADRENAL FUNCTION.

This is a test I have to pay for privately.

There is no pot of gold at the bottom of the garden.

But it is the most important thing for me to spend what little money I have on right now.

Information/facts are power.

Empowering.

Luckily I don't have a social life to muddy the waters.

Just in case you were wondering: I have managed to keep to my supplement routine, which so far involves vitamin C, B complex vitamin, vitamin B12 and vitamin D3.

I still forget to take my probiotic first thing in the morning but remember to take it mid-morning.

Why is that?


In amongst the chaos I still managed to cook a roast lamb dinner. The above half-shoulder of lamb (from the village butcher) was served with new potatoes, runner beans (grown by my own fair hand), gluten free Yorkshire pudding and a homemade gravy (using my own chicken stock as a base).

Homemade stock (broth) is so good for our guts. I use it as a base for soups and stews in the winter and for gravies all year round.

My head is clear on what I need to do.

I have a small amount of achievable steps to take.

I try not to let the big picture overwhelm me.

Another piece of the jigsaw is good enough for me.

For now.


What is in the box I wonder?

Find out next time.

For now, remember, for as long as we have hope we have a chance.