All my energy is spent trying to keep a roof over my head.
I have no energy left to concentrate on getting well.
Will the system only be happy when I am broken?
What then?
Is this how it was meant to be?
I have not had a day off in over ten years.
I certainly have had no holiday.
I do not remember the last time I did something for me.
I am exhausted.
I have no energy to get well!
Do I carry on? Should I carry on? Will I carry on?
Feeling sorry for myself.
Why can't I?
I've been dealt a shitty hand!
Being told I'm not the only one does not help.
Allow me this much.
I have no outlet for my anger.
I am angry.
There is no one here to see the tears.
Were they shed? Did they fall?
When I am all alone.
I have been starved of affection.
I am an affectionate guy.
To be held in the arms of another....
A dream to dream.
Too honest?
Or not honest enough.
aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!
Life is to be shared, right?
Why is it not like the movies.
I am a worrier not a warrior.
More's the pity.
What more can I give?
I'm a talker not a fighter.
I have nothing left to say?
What else is there to say....
Today.
I do not have a sunny disposition today!
ReplyDeletethat is perfectly OK
All my energy is spent trying to keep a roof over my head.
a worthy pursuit
I have no energy left to concentrate on getting well.
give yourself a break from the pursuit of 'getting well,' rethink 'getting well' which is like a 100% goal eg into 'balance' or use %, or draw a spectrum and aim to move along it rather than jump to the other end like superman... do this as an intentional action to train yourself away from extreme ends of a spectrum - on a good day!
Will the system only be happy when I am broken?
the system doesn't care if you are broken or whole. find other systems where you are valued eg mary's online thryoid community, which you have already done...
What then?
repeat above
Is this how it was meant to be?
no, it's meant to be 42 - the answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?" in the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy
I have not had a day off in over ten years.
use internet / local community centres to find out about creative visualisation and self-hypnosis - on a good day. these teach how to take a break from yourself, your life and can even help you feel better sometimes too
I certainly have had no holiday.
as above
I do not remember the last time I did something for me.
you started this blog
I am exhausted.
yes, i understand
I have no energy to get well!
as above. the biggest reason why we fail to achieve our goals is that we set them too high. put some smaller goals between now and 'getting well' make a plan - do this on a good day! and understand that on a bad day we don't try to push the proverbial uphill. make notes & put them on the refrigerator so you remember these things
Do I carry on? Should I carry on? Will I carry on?
Feeling sorry for myself.
yes, we do do that don't we...
Why can't I?
I've been dealt a shitty hand!
life is struggle, and how we deal with that is our measure
Being told I'm not the only one does not help.
No it does not, so ask, 'Where are all the others? I'd like to meet them,' which possibly could be helpful.
Allow me this much.
yes
I have no outlet for my anger.
you are a writer so write it out then burn it in the fire or dig a hole in the ground and bury it or tear it to shreds and throw it out...or publish it
I am angry.
yes
There is no one here to see the tears.
but we feel them
Were they shed? Did they fall?
yes
When I am all alone.
we are the observers of our own universes, so merely by observing ourselves, we change
I have been starved of affection.
I am an affectionate guy.
To be held in the arms of another....
A dream to dream.
Too honest?
Or not honest enough.
aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!
Life is to be shared, right?
yes, and you are on your way even if baby stepping isn't fast enough!
Why is it not like the movies.
stop watching rom-coms! they are full of mental rot. choose psychological thrillers or sci-fi - there is more 'truth' in them and there will be characters having a pretty shite time of it somewhere in the story
I am a worrier not a warrior.
More's the pity.
I'm a giver not a taker.
What more can I give?
I'm a talker not a fighter.
I have nothing left to say?
What else is there to say....
Today.
the pen is your sword and a key to many doors...
Cheers,
Aly
P.S. It should be noted that I have optimistic tendencies.
http://losingitincambodia.blogspot.com/
love it ...A LOT ....not much to be said after what u wrote ,really....
ReplyDelete