.... and it sucks!!!!
Just when I thought I could see redemption on the horizon, fog has descended thicker than I can remember for a long time.
My good natured humour has deserted me.... only to be replaced by my dear old friend.... self-pity!
With a generous helping of sarcasm and cynicism thrown in!.... it really is a heady brew!.... mulled wine?.... go fuck yourself!
Happy days indeed!
I am a recluse!.... yet even me.... I'm sick of myself.... it is just as well I don't count.... c'est la vie!
Anyway, where am I?
I am about halfway through writing my letter to my Doctor.... plan of action 2011 ....and it has been this way for a few days now.... but as soon as there is improvement I will complete it.... and share it with you.
I have taken my temperature every morning, before getting out of bed, for ten days.... as advised.... what for?.... as yet I do not have a clue.... but whatever, it is done!
I have received comments and would like to comment on these and a couple of blogs that I follow.... I am not able to prepare a coherent response at the moment....
So all in all taking into account the fact that this time of year is my nemesis.... Autumn/Winter & The Holidays....
.... I'm hardly a bundle of laughs.... it's just so foggy in here!!!!
Remember.... for as long as we have hope we have a chance.... bite me!!!!
Believe me - I have BEEN THERE! The brain fog - the lack of motivation - the being a recluse. I was staying home most of the time, unable to attend birthday parties, unable to get out on my own until well into my treatment - this is normal when you are not well - it does go away as you start to improve and it will for you once you are treated too.
ReplyDeleteIt took me weeks to write my 'Dear Dr' letter - do not be put off by the letter taking ages. I ended up finishing the letter the morning of the appointment - and I had a couple of months to prepare it! Don't be put of if this doctor doesn't want to help you - you will find one who does eventually now you are determined to do so.
Anyway - don't worry about not replying, I know how you're feeling and believe me, it does get better from here! Head down, grit the teeth, one step at a time - you will get there... it gets easier as time goes on.
Dear Hypoman:
ReplyDeleteMy name is Elaine. I live in the US and I found your blog through Mary shamon as I recieved as much info on Hypothyroidism as possible. I too was recently diagnosed and suffered every symptom and then some. I myself am trying to understand whether my T-4 is converting to T-3 in my system, will know that after my next blood work up. But enough about me, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you as a human being and think you a brilliant writer who conveys so much of what I have felt in the past as It took over 1 year to finaly get my diagnosis. As silly as it may sound, prior to my diagnosis, I was at a point where I didn't care anymore if they had diagnosed me with cancer, I just wanted to know what in the hell was wrong with me. You convey in exact word and emotion, exactly what I had and in some respects, still do. I can assure you that as everything finaly gets adjusted, you will feel like a human again. Again I thank God for people like you who are so open and honest about what we go through with having this disease. Much love and blessings to you.
Elaine